Psst…this is Harry.

Welcome to a Secret Sauce Sunday version of your new favourite email, a perfect companion to your avo smash.

You know, lots of things don’t matter.

Ah…week one ✔️.

I hope you started on whatever you promised yourself you’d do. But also…maybe you’re realising that nothing’s changed. We’ve ticked over an imaginary event in our calendar, but our lives, where we live, the people we’re around…it’s all the same.

Pah! This isn’t what we signed up for when we promised ourselves that this year will be quote unquote “my year”.

Seven days in, it’s time to reflect and stay on path.

Ask yourself, honestly:

^{Did I do what I NEEDED to do last week? Did I do what I promised myself when I was setting my goals for the year?}

[write your answer in your notes]

If your answer is no… don’t sugar coat it.

But you’re not the only one, which is why this section is so important.

New commitments and new year’s resolutions are hard to keep…but why?

Because we go too hard in the first week. 

Think of all the people that start going to the gym because it’s their ‘resolution’ to be in good shape this year.

Most of them fall off a cliff, because their motivation runs dry. And it doesn’t take long. We all know people who do this every year, hoping that this year will be different.

It’s no different for anything you want to achieve. Whether it’s fitness, wealth, work, or relationships.

So if you didn’t stick with your promise last week - here’s what you need to change.

First, change the goal from an outcome to a process.

Instead of saying “I want to lose 20kg”, say “I want to start training 3x a week”.

AND PUT THOSE TIMES INTO YOUR CALENDAR.

Control your impatience. The goal is to show up, not to lose weight.

On this point, read atomic habits. Or watch a YouTube summary of the book here.

Second, leave some gas in the tank.

To form a positive association with a new activity, you want to end it at a point where you’re still having fun. Form a ‘good’ feeling with the task.

About 6 months ago when I got serious about writing my book, I committed to an impossible task. I was so motivated from a YouTube video that I committed to sitting down for 100 focused minutes to write EVERY DAY.

I lasted 3 days.

After the three days were up, I didn’t write for a week. I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting down to write because I burned myself out, and I made it feel like work. I went from loving writing to hating it almost instantly.

Now, my daily goal for writing is much more achievable - a simple 2 crappy pages a day (about 1,000) words. It doesn’t matter if the words are good or not. It doesn’t matter if I have errors and typos everywhere. It doesn’t matter if I’ll never read the work again. All that matters is that I sit down and write.

And it’s been wonderful. So far, I haven’t missed a day in 62 days. That’s the longest streak I’ve ever kept for any task aside from brushing my teeth and eating.

It’s because I left gas in the tank.

I know I can write more, and some days I do. But I’m staying far away from my burnout point. I don’t want to walk away from my computer ragged and mentally broken.

And that’s….it.

If you’ve committed to fitness - push to 70% of your max. You’re not David Goggins, don’t show up for an ultra-marathon without training for one.

If you’re committed to a skill - make sure your practice time feels so easy, it’s almost like you’re not trying. Build confidence. That confidence will keep you coming back again and again and again.

If you’re committing to wealth and starting a business - put a cap on the time. Don’t be one of those stories where an entrepreneur sacrifices everything for the business. Don’t let yourself get to the point where you start hating the thing you’re building. Because it happens.

Finally, start practicing this new word - ‘NO’.

If you’ve made a promise to yourself, make sure it’s one of your highest priorities.

It’s the one thing that will change what you think of yourself and your self-belief. Breaking promises to yourself is a great way to end up with low confidence, low self-esteem and becoming afraid of trying new things.

Want to achieve great things in the world? Achieve them in your world first.

Say no to things that don’t matter, if you haven’t done what you need to do. Still have fun, keep that in your life - but the commitment you’ve made to yourself comes first.

For more on this, Derek Sivers has an epic article “HELL YEAH!” or no.

Family, friends, Netflix, and social media will bother you. They will want you to GIVE them your precious attention. Be selfish. No one else is going to help you build yourself, it’s all up to you bro.

Summary:

1. Change the goal from an outcome to a process.

2. Leave some gas in the tank.

3. Apply your new word - ‘NO’.

Bring on week two.

Harry

P.S. If you’d like to do me a HUGE favour, share this. It’ll take you three seconds, and maybe you’ll help a friend.